multilevel diner


It is late and we are hungry. A legendary moving multilevel diner is near, set aboard a train-bus. My friend and I step aboard over a drunk passed out in the entranceway. My friend recounts the last time he was there, I am told the desserts are of particular interest (and met with a vision of my friend tearing into a particularly delicious treat), but that everything on the menu is good.

As we attempt to sit at a booth, a homeless looking black man slides into my side and plants himself firmly in the middle of the dark crimson faux leather seat. There is not quite room enough for me after so I spend my time half hanging off and half pushing my way back. The hostess also sits at the booth, opposite me. She seems young, cheery. We all order beverages, I believe I get something akin to an italian soda. Everyone else nurses theirs, but I gulp mine down ravenously. As I finish it the multilevel bus train hits a bump in the road, causing a spill that gets a good bit of sauce on my pants. The hostess apologizes profusely and goes to get cleaning supplies and asks if I want anything else, I tell her water is fine.

I pore over the menu all the while, a flimsy printed sheet. There are many odd things on it, mostly what seems to be strange twists on diner food in quite generous portions. 0 calorie burgers, announces one section. The deserts are mostly premade looking things, ice cream bars and churros, but I don't pay it much mind. Under the table there's a sandwich, seemingly stashed there by our homeless tablemate. It is massive, chock full of fish salad and glistening generous chunks of cucumber, amongst other things, all stuffed inside a large hollowed out crusty loaf of bread. I decide I want this, and ask him how it is. He barks, "Its got bones. You gotta pick em out."

I'm confused by this as it seems to be a tuna sandwich, but as he repeats it incessantly I believe him.